Wednesday, October 27, 2004
I'm too nice. No, I'm not complimenting myself, instead I'm merely acknowledging the fact that because I'm too nice people tend to take advantage of me. I used to moan and groan to anyone who would listen that I'm too weak and too nice to stand up for myself and to say no as and when the need arises. But whats the use? They'd listen but they only get bored because it's the same old complaint yet again.
I know my mistakes. I think I'm the only person who knows me the best and that is why I'm my worst critic. I used to get hurt and then tell myself to be strong and start anew all over again but then I realised I never changed. Despite all my rants I'm still stuck in that cycle of destruction, still wandering aimlessly through life, still being too harsh on myself and worst of all, nothing's changed. I'm still weak.
Here I go again complaining about things that should get done but never does. What I've learnt so far though is to change for myself and not for others. I should not be someone others expect me to be instead I should be the person that I am able to be, with my imperfections and all. And also to love myself more and to have less self-deprecating thoughts. If others cannot deal with who I am or who I'm going to be, then I'm not going to give two f*cks about it. It's my life, not yours.
I know my mistakes. I think I'm the only person who knows me the best and that is why I'm my worst critic. I used to get hurt and then tell myself to be strong and start anew all over again but then I realised I never changed. Despite all my rants I'm still stuck in that cycle of destruction, still wandering aimlessly through life, still being too harsh on myself and worst of all, nothing's changed. I'm still weak.
Here I go again complaining about things that should get done but never does. What I've learnt so far though is to change for myself and not for others. I should not be someone others expect me to be instead I should be the person that I am able to be, with my imperfections and all. And also to love myself more and to have less self-deprecating thoughts. If others cannot deal with who I am or who I'm going to be, then I'm not going to give two f*cks about it. It's my life, not yours.
