Endless Ranting

it's been a week of freedom for me cos hols r finally here. its kinda sad la cos its been just so boring. the only thing i've ever been doing is going to starbucks to meet up with mel n occasionally keith will join us. these 2 just make my day seem so much brighter. without friends like these, i think i'll just go insane.

i'm off to penang tmrw with my daddy n my little baby ying ying cos it's a looong weekend. monday n tuesday 's a holiday. yipeee...but it doesnt make a difference to me cos i'm on hols till the 14th. hope the weekend will be fun but all we ever do in penang is eat n shop then eat again. we never go to the beach, we never go sight seeing, we never go visiting all those historical sites. oh well, i guess the point of the whole trip is to spend more time with mah daddy.

happy long weekend everyone!! hope KL wont be too quiet since most ppl would be travelling outstation n stuff. damn the jams...hope i won't be caught in any. *muaks*

peek a boo just makes me feel so good i cant explain it. went to have my monthly treatment just now n as usual, it was packed with young good looking people. my bro who doesnt give a rats ass abt his looks has been faithfully going to gibson for his haircut since i recommended him. however, i am faithful to shawn as he's the only one who knows what i want. tho my hair's been tortoured by various chemicals becos of my religious straightening, all i have to do is go to peek a boo n i'll come out feeling damn good. heck i even walk with a spring in my step tho slightly exaggerated. heheh. now im trying my best to convince jac to go along too but of cos, he's faithful to his trusted salon back in sban where he insists cost only rm25 for the same thing peek a boo offers. oh well..whatever pleases u bibi.

i'm still trying to give my blog a make over but i'm just useless with this. will have to start bugging andrew the IT whiz to help me out. anyway, off to my weekly dinner with daddy. i'm feeling damn good at the mo...*muaks*

thursday is the day i usually look forward to cos its the day where mel n i will meet up for our weekly starbucks session at mt kiara. they have this flea market going on every thursday selling everything ranging from jewellery to potted plants to crystals to clothes. our routine would be us meeting up at the courtyard then heading to this stall selling accessories where the salesgirl called jess will be fawning over mel. hehehe. mel's just so lovable so its understandable. after that we'll round the stalls n somehow end up buying food from the same stall which is just outside starbucks. hehe...dunno y.

then we'll order our drinks from starbucks where the barrista will also be fawning over mel then head out to dive into our food which we always never end up finishing. wonder y...hmmm...anyway thats our routine thursdays. today was no different except keith decided to be a sweetie n join us as well. it was great being with them again...despite the live band playing we managed to laugh ourselves silly n mel n i always end up teasing keith. but being the typical male that he is, he'll have some great comeback for us. hmph! he made us share some dumpling like thingy which i have no idea what its called but ended up not finishing his share.

anyway, i look forward to more thursdays as for the rest of the week everyone else just seems too busy. i just hope starbucks dont decide to ban outside food cos there goes our starbucks meeting point...rhasberry frap here i come!!

today i met up with mel n keith for lunch. we went to this place in hartamas called gecko which was recommended by boon's mum. i have to admit, it was a rather unusual kind of restaurant. by the name itself, yes, there were soft toys of lizards hanging by the wall, lizard windchimes n the like. luckily, they had no serving of anything remotely linked to the reptile. well, of cos there wasnt but by the name n the deco, one might be misled.

the food on the menu was surprisingly limited. salad seemed to be the main thing people ordered there n being a non-vege lover, i played it safe and had a beef pie which was very disappointing. mel had the quiche n keith had a salmon sandwich. i think keith's order was the most worth it as they were very generous with the salmon n it only cost him RM13. next time i have a craving for salmon, gecko will be the place i'll go...with jac in tow of cos becos he loves salmon too. for anyone who would like to be at this cosy little restaurant, its on the first floor opposite spicy kitchen.

tho it was a disappointing lunch, the company made up for it. it's been awhile since the 3 of us got together n it was great being able to make fun of n tease n have a good laugh with 2 of my fave ppl.

i'm getting blurred vision...sitting in front of the comp since i got home can be very very tortorous...astro here i come!

it's a sunday n finals r a week away. spent the weekend all alone at home, with nothing to do besides the long (and frequent) argument with my beloved. why oh why must we argue?? just when things were getting a little bit better it had to go downhill. i think the problem lies with me. who else can it be? i know it's my fault for constantly putting the blame on him but what else can i do? all girls love to be pampered once in awhile dont they? maybe i'm asking too much cos i just feel as if he doesnt give a damn abt anything!!! blardy carefree happy-go-lucky pricks....

paranoia....how much is too much? being a little bit suspicous...does that constitute to paranoia? does being a little bit paranoid mean being too controlling? where do we actually draw the line? sigh...the big question i ask myself all the time. why do i let myself constantly feel paranoid abt little things he does? maybe it's all in my mind, i dont know but he definitely thinks so. but then again, he, the-one-who-doesnt-give-a-rat's-ass, doesnt have the right to tell me i'm thinking too much about nothing. or does he? oh well....it boils down to that dreaded word...TRUST

can i or can i not trust him? without trust there is no love. is that entirely true? it may be because it sounds right but being in a situation where trust is compromised for the sake of love? now can we say its entirely true? uh uh. i trust him but not totally. i give him the benefit of the doubt abt loads of things but there are certain things i just cannot believe. will not mention here but of course it has to do with a girl-friend of his. what else could it be right? oh well, guess our petty arguments which are always my fault will not end anytime soon...though i wish it would. but the only thing that would make it end quickly would be to have more faith n trust n then there'd be no paranoia. but then again, thats what's confusing me already..........................i'm faithless n trustless....if there's such a word.

Went to watch an Easter celebration held by Calvary Church with Keith just now. And as usual, I'm feeling so guilty. Guilty for so many reasons. Firstly, I havent been a very good christian. I havent been to church in a looooong time. It's been awhile la. Cant really recall the last time I actually stepped into a church. *sigh* Secondly, I procrastinate. I tell myself I will go to church on Sundays n I'll have a proper relationship with Him but in the end, it doesnt happen. I'm stuck in my usual rut. Waking up late then forgetting even to go to church.

Why oh why am I so bad?? I really want to change but its so hard. I should keep on praying n hoping that soon enough I'll be a changed person but....I know it's going to be a long time b4 that actually happens.

I have faith though...so please pray for me. As I'll be praying for myself too....Happy Easter everyone!!

Life has been treating me rather kind lately. Not that it hasnt been all this while of cos. What I'm trying to say is, I've never felt so relaxed and carefree in a long time. I've been stuck at home for the past 2 n 1/2 weeks and yes, I've gone out n probably spread my chicken pox to some unsuspecting soul but a girl's gotta go what a girl's gotta do. I can't just stay at home for 2 weeks straight and come out sane after that.

Anyway, as I sit at home, only with the TV and a feel-good, easy reading, chick-lit book to accompany me, I can't help but feel serene. And it's a good feeling. It lets me collect my wandering thoughts n just contemplate life. And I came to realise tat my life is one big bore.

All that's going to change of cos. Give me time...I'll be back, pumpkins!