Endless Ranting

I'm on an emotional roller-coaster ride. No, it's not like last time where I get depressed about every single thing so don't come lecturing me about getting a life and thinking positively. Though I welcome the advice. It's just different now because I've nothing to be depressed and suicidal about. I'm just feeling vulnerable and I tear easily. I blame it on The OC. *hangs head in shame*

Random thoughts. Is it so easy to let someone you love so dearly slip through your fingers? Or is that merely something you portray but deep inside you feel like holding on to them tightly and if it was allowed, tie them up and hold them captive. Heheh. We're all selfish. I don't buy it when someone says they've to let someone go just because they love them. I've been guilty of saying that but I know I never meant a word of it. Come on, if you love someone and he's about to leave you, don't tell me you're just going to stand there and watch him leave. Ok I might be a slight bit ignorant about this but I do know that I will not let go without a fight.

Sorry for all that rambling. Like I said, I'm in one of those moods. Looks like the remaining hours of the day is going to just drag on and on. Thank God I've got the complete 6 seasons of Sex and the City to keep me occupied. Thank you baby!!! There's nothing better than sitting at home with the aircond turned on and some much needed chick flick on TV..hehe. A boyfriend to cuddle up to would be nice, but I guess dreaming is all I'm entitled to now.

Just came back from my dad's birthday dinner. We went to this restaurant in Bangsar called Keshmir which serves Northen Indian food. Very friendly and good-looking staff. Think Bollywood. Hehe. There was this big-screen tv playing non-stop Bollywood MTVs. My brother must have felt right at home considering 99% of his friends are Indian. Headed off to Alexis after that for yummy tiramisu where we tried stealing the ashtray but chickened out because the waiter seemed to be hovering around our table.

I went with my dad's gf to Piccolo Galleria this afternoon with the hopes of getting a birthday gift for my dad but they sold out of what we wanted. In the end, we gave him a stack of RM5 polymer notes tied up in a nice ribbon in the amount of RM680. Just because we couldn't think of anything else and because my dad collects those polymer notes. Go figure. There is never the perfect present when it comes to my dad. He's just too fussy and so hard to please. I think the best gift I can give him would be my graduation. But I guess that won't be happening anytime soon. Oh well, that day will come.

Happy Birthday to 2 special men

The 2 men of my life celebrates their birthday today. Both have stood by me, supported me, and picked me up when I was down. Though they play totally different roles in my life, they're the ones I turn to when I'm lost and confused. So I just want to wish them both, my daddy and my baby, a very happy, happy birthday. May all your wishes come true and may you find happiness today and always. Love you!!

Midterms happening this week. 2 papers down, 2 more to go. After that I'll be busy with assignments and presentations and then finals at the end of April. I'm actually really glad for all these distractions. At least it will keep me busy so I won't have to notice how time passes by so slowly. Then I won't have to miss my baby so much too. On a happier note, I got my visa approved this morning. All that stressing this past month for nothing. Hehe. Looks like it'll be another 2 more months till I'm able to see him again. Counting down the days..

After saying goodbye to Adeline, it's time to bid another farewell. To Gwen this time, who's leaving for that oh so fine Lion city. She'll be going there for training with SIA. Yes, this pretty lady is going to be an air stewardess. Am so excited for her but she's pretty excited about it herself so hope things go really well for her. And for Adam too, of course. I pity the poor boy..he's going to miss her so much. Met up for coffee last night thinking it'll be the last time seeing her but apparently, we're all meeting up again this Sunday. Hehe..another weekend to look forward to. Pics will be up as soon as I get them from Gwen. Pics below..

Oh, anyone going for zoukfest? I'll be there..

I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
I'm flesh and blood to the bone
I'm not made of stone
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down too long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

You're entitled to your opinion
But it's really my decision
I can't turn back I'm on a mission
If you care don't you dare blur my vision
Let me be all that I can be
Don't smother me with negativity
Whatever's out there waiting for me
I'm going to face it willingly...

Joss Stone-Right to be Wrong

Adeline leaves for Melbourne in 8 hours and I'm going to miss her terribly. Shopping in Sg Wang isn't going to be the same without her. I never end up empty-handed whenever she's with me. Who's going to do my nails? Who else will indulge in the sinfully delicious banana chocolate cake at ZangToi Cafe with me? Girl, you asked me in the car what kind of friend you are. The answer is, you're one-of-a-kind, ever supporting no matter how crazy I get at times, tolerant with my rare 'perasan' outbursts, smart and witty and oh so talented, neurotic at times, lovable at most, and always saying the right things to cheer me up. Beautiful in every way imaginabe and I wouldn't have you any other way. There! Is that answer satisfactory? Too bad if it's not cos it's the truth. Now don't you go staying in Melbourne for too long. I know how much you don't want to come back but I need you!!! Hehehe..take good good care yeah? Hope the interview goes well and you become the famous publicist that every media-related person will be asking for.

On another note, Velene organized a dinner to celebrate the CNY. She wanted to have 'yee sang' which I don't like but ordered anyway because that was the main purpose for the dinner. Despite having to change venue because of the crowd at New Paris, it ended up being a pretty decent meal combined with great company. Looking forward to more dinners such as this, girl! Keep on planning, yeah?

..ex's are like fungus
they keep coming back..

Taken from an e-mail sent by Nick. This is so scarily true. Can one truly remain friends after a break-up? If so, how long do you have to wait before you can start going out with them again? Can you trust yourself that you won't end up still harboring some feelings for them and vice-versa? Is he/she worth losing someone you love in the event things get complicated?

I guess it all depends on the reason of breaking up in the first place. If he was a lying/cheating/conniving bastard then stay far far away...for your own sake. If it ended on good terms, then by all means, go ahead, keep in touch, stay friends, as long as you know what you're getting yourself into. Life is full of complications, depending on how we live it. It's our right to decide for ourselves the right or wrong thing to do. I just hope we don't end up sacrificing our happiness for someone so unworthy.

It's Valentine's day today..the day where restaurants get to charge exorbitant prices for their set luches/dinners, a single stalk of rose is sold for as much as RM20, couples using today as an excuse to dress up in couply t-shirts/color coordinated clothes. All these just because it's Valentine's day. Why bother forking out so much money just to celebrate being a couple? What happens tomorrow? What happens the day before? Are those days where you love one another less therefore using today to reaffirm one's love and commitment? Nonsense..Valentine's day should be celebrated everyday, minus the outrageous prices.

I was going to stay at home and miss my baby but then I decided it's just another day. Why treat it any differently? So I'll be treating myself to sushi tonight. Just because I haven't had sushi in a while and because I want to go and count how many of those cutesy couples with their big bouquet of flowers there are. Yes, I'll be wishing I could be with my baby but I wish it every single day anyway so nothing new there.

To everyone who's celebrating today, have loads of fun. Happy Valentine's day all, but especially to my baby..*hugs n kisses* Missing you loads, today and everyday..

1st day
Donned new clothes. Visited grandma with my dad. Came back, visited grandma again with my mum. Ampang-gambled. Midvalley-some of my relatives have never been. Steamboat dinner back at Ampang. Home.

2nd day
Mummy's mee siam is the best. Gambled with relatives till dinner time. No luck today. Haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Eat eat eat. No angpows today. Nearly passed out from the heat. Blog.

It has been a fun night indeed. Slept the afternoon away only to wake up just in time for reunion dinner at Ampang. Left for Sentul after that to 'play' with fireworks outside SiewYen's house then won RM15 from the mandatory gambling session. RM15 is small compared to the RM500 LaiKwee won. In the same amount of time too. Hmmm..I'm a coward therefore not daring to bet big. Oh well..winning is good enough. It did not end there though. We then decided to drive around Sentul looking for fireworks. And fireworks we saw. Many many times too. I'm just so enthralled by them. Hehe. Went to yamcha after that and there was a fight going on nearby. Scary but nosy people like us just can't sit still so off we went to have a look. Too bad we didn't get to witness any slayings because the police came to intervene.

Tonight left me comparing Sentul and Bangsar during the festive season. As midnight approaches in Sentul, loud bangs can be heard every few minutes but Bangsar remains as dead as ever. How come no one lets off fireworks in Bangsar? *sigh* Sentul is a far more notorious area as well. Anyone would like to object? Hehe.

Ok it's time for me to go sleep cos baby's complaining I don't sleep enough. He's right too. And so, hope everyone collects lots of angpows, win big big money during those gambling sessions, then come belanja me yeah? Gong Xi Fa Cai to all..

Whenever I look at this picture, it makes me feel like literally walking right off it and plunging into the open sea. Then I would swim as far out as I possibly can till I become just a tiny little speck amidst all that vast blueness. Invinsible to the world, only answerable to myself. If only my life could be like that.

A week's holiday. Just what I'm in need for. Hehe. Reunion dinner this year is going to be different from previous years. We're heading out this year because my grandmother can no longer stand in the kitchen toiling over the stove, making sure her children and grandchildren get satiated with yummy food. And for a change, we're having it a day earlier. So that means I get to spend reunion dinner on the 8th with my mum's side. I'm so looking forward to that because my brother and I have never had reunion dinners in Ampang before. 2005 is starting out not too bad at all, if I dare say so.

It's Friday afternoon and I'm done with classes. Feeling kind of hyper but no where to go. Maybe I should pay the tailor a visit to get my jeans altered. Think she'll have time for that small little request? Hopefully or I won't get to wear them for CNY. Aih..it's been a strange week filled with some ups and downs. But the festive mood is in the air so I'm happily looking forward to CNY and angpows. Money money money..heheh..money can't buy happiness ok!!! I'm just hyper, remember? Bye all..

One of the best books I've read so far. It makes one question life and death. I cried while reading it. I hope to be able to lead life as Morrie did..unselfishly.

taken from page 174
"As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you have created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on-in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here."

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."